Why it's ok to Ruffle your midwife's Feathers

It is something that comes up time and time again when talking to parents about making choices about their maternity care: It goes something like this...

Mum: I know that I could have done, but I didn't email the Head of Midwifery asking her to grant permission for me to use the pool for my VBAC because I didn't want to be 'that' person, I didn't want to ruffle any feathers ahead of my birth and then be treated differently because of it.

insert any reason here